Anger for Self-Expression
It’s so rare in our culture to have a healthy relationship with anger. It could well be the most repressed emotion in our society. Yet it can be so healthy, so juicily healthy in all its firey righteousness. Particularly when navigating a new path of unique expression and authenticity – often we’re redefining relationships in which considerable pressure exists to conform to a status quo, which becomes impossible if we’re to move into new internal territory of authenticity and personal growth.
What’s that anger doing?
As we come closer into ourselves and see our inner guidance more strongly, we naturally become less ruled by the expectations we feel around us. And as this process takes place,we do also need some added power, some oomph to bust out of the old rules around us. Anger can be a big rocket-fueled push to keep us going & unfazed by contrary opinions and opposition. It can be the oomph that drives. Anger can either be overt, with conscious awareness of a fight against something, or it can be well-integrated and deep, so familiar and expressible that the tangible output of it is a solid firey determination to follow an inner-directed course, totally disregarding any opposition.
How to use that anger!
This is strong learning curve for many of us – the establishing of a healthy relationship with anger. There are two stages of growth to move through:
1. Clear the backlog
Often there’s a hefty backlog to clear, of squashed-down, rationalised-away, unacknowledged anger. Explore it, express it, get it moving. Journalling everything that’s coming up can be helpful cognitively. Finding private space to scream and rage it out can be too – a private location in the car can be good. Finding ways to express it physically is visceral and supportive – find a private place to smash a pillow against a wall, or find other ways to safely explore how your body experiences the expression of anger.
This process can seem daunting – seek support to ground and integrate your exploration, and for encouragement – professional therapy sessions, or supportive and strong friends. Body psychotherapy work such as Core Energetics may be helpful.
You’re learning to trust your expression of anger, to trust that it can be channelled and flowed out without overwhelm, that it won’t overwhelm those nearby, and it won’t overwhelm the world! It is healthy and a force to be welcomed in balance.
2. Anger in harmony
Then, the calm after the storm – the welcoming and settling of the healthy flow of anger through us. When the backlog is cleared, a natural settling and integration process occurs where our anger expression becomes calmer and smoother. Our relationship with anger has shifted, and is now functional and constructive. We recognise it early and clearly, and can easily and calmly act upon it, so that peaceful determined fire burns steadily inside and fuels us with a long strong No when necessary. We can enjoy all its benefits in strong and clear self-expression, and maintaining healthy boundaries.
Blessings for your exploration with your own anger, and may the beautiful calm fire of determination burn strongly in your belly!
Would support in this journey be helpful at the moment? Get in touch to discuss what will work best for you, with support available in person at the Bulimba wellness centre or via phone/Skype/distance.
Complimentary 15-minute Initial Consultation: available to discuss your needs and what holistic support will be most helpful for you.
About Elle Reynolds
Elle Reynolds is an Energy Therapist, Transpersonal Life Coach and Holistic Counsellor, specialising in life change and the deeper embodied experience of our energy systems. Her work merges cognitive learning and awareness with the felt sense of embodied inner knowing.
Elle works in private practice with personal appointments and workshops to support others in this journey. She lives in Brisbane, practicing in Bulimba and with phone-based appointments around Australia.
Contact Elle – she loves to connect.